Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook Read online

  How To Get To The Surface If Your Scuba Tank Runs Out Of Air

  How To Survive A Tsunami

  How To Survive Adrift At Sea

  How To Eat At Sea If You’re Allergic To Fish

  Rip Currents

  Cold Weather

  How To Survive Being Stranded In Snow

  How To Fish On Ice

  How To Treat A Tongue Stuck On A Pole

  How To Build A Shelter In The Snow

  How To Treat Frostbite

  How To Build A Trail In Waist-Deep Snow

  Arctic

  How To Survive On Ice Until The Rescue Party Arrives

  Techniques For Staying Warm In Subzero Temperatures

  How To Build An Igloo

  Chapter 7 Getting Around Unsafe At Any Speed

  Boats

  How To Make An Emergency Flotation Device Out Of Your Pants

  How To Sail Through A Typhoon

  How To Flip An Overturned Kayak

  How To Survive Going Down With A Sinking Ship

  Survival Time In Water

  Trains

  How To Maneuver On Top Of A Moving Train And Get Inside

  How To Escape From A Stalled Subway Car

  How To Stop A Runaway Passenger Train

  How To Jump From A Moving Train

  Cars

  How To Stop A Car With No Brakes

  How To Escape From A Car Hanging Over The Edge Of A Cliff

  How To Brace For Impact

  How To Bail Out Of A Car At High Speeds

  How To Survive A Rollover

  Car Maneuvering

  How To Ram A Car/Barricade

  How To Drive Down A Flight Of Stairs

  How To Perform A Fast 180-Degree Turn

  How To Evade A Pursuing Car

  Trapped In The Car

  How To Escape From A Sinking Car

  Recommended Items Always To Have In The Trunk

  How To Escape From The Trunk Of The Car

  How To Survive A Family Car Trip

  Bicycles

  How To Steer Your Bike Down A Rock Face

  How To Slow Or Stop With No Brakes

  How To Treat Road Rash

  Car-Doored

  Airplanes

  How To Land A Plane

  How To Land A Plane On Water

  Jet Lag

  How To Survive An Airplane Crash

  How To Deal With A Canceled Flight

  Chapter 8 Oh S#&%T! Extreme Emergencies

  Falling From Great Heights

  How To Survive A Fall Down A Flight Of Stairs

  How To Survive If Your Parachute Doesn’t Open

  How To Survive In A Plummeting Elevator

  Chemicals

  How To Deal With A Suspicious White Powder

  How To Survive Acid Rain

  How To Drive Through A Chemical Spill

  Household Chemical Poisons

  Explosives

  How To Navigate A Minefield

  How To Identify And Avoid Minefields

  How To Detect A Letter Bomb

  Types Of Mines

  How To Search For A Bomb

  Great Escapes

  How To Free Your Leg From A Bear Trap

  How To Escape From A Bad Date

  How To Escape From Quicksand

  Firearms

  How To Survive If You Are In The Line Of Gunfire

  How To Take A Bullet

  How To Treat A Bullet Or Knife Wound

  Means Of Bulletproofing

  Political Unrest

  How To Drive A Tank

  How To Survive A Hostage Situation

  How To Pass A Bribe

  How To Survive A Coup

  Nuclear Event

  How To Survive Nuclear Fallout

  Radiation Exposure Risks

  How To Improvise A Nuclear Fallout Shelter

  10 Things To Know About Radiation

  Zombies

  How To Survive A Zombie Attack

  Weapons For Killing Zombies

  How To Outrun A Pack Of Zombies

  Historical Emergencies

  How To Survive Being Thrown To The Lions

  How To Survive A Joust

  How To Prove You’re Not A Witch

  How To Fight With Bayonets

  How To Survive Death

  How To Survive Being Buried Alive

  How To Make A Deal With Death

  Is Your Pet Really Dead?

  How To Beat Death At Chess

  How To Survive An Accident In Which You Were Meant To Die

  Means Of Communicating With The Dead

  How To Tell If You’re Dead

  How To Get The Dead To Leave You Alone

  Aliens

  How To Survive An Alien Abduction

  Close Encounters By Kind

  How To Thwart An Alien Abduction

  How To Make A Tinfoil Hat

  Acknowledgments

  About The Authors

  Copyright

  First ask yourself:

  What is the worst that can happen?

  —Dale Carnegie

  Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.

  —John Wooden

  Be brave. Take risks.

  —Paul Coelho

  INTRODUCTION

  * * *

  * * *

  It’s been more than a dozen years since the first volume of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook was published in 1999. We’ve sold over 9 million copies worldwide of these handy little life, limb, and sanity-saving guides. We’ve sold millions more instructional board and video games, and been involved in the creation of two different television series based on our books. Suffice to say, we’ve taught a lot of folks how to survive some of the worst life holds in store.

  And now we have some good news, and some bad news.

  Here’s the bad news: The world is more dangerous than ever.

  From hurricanes to civil unrest, from global warming to shark attacks, from severed limbs to yoga injuries, it seems as if danger lurks around every corner, beneath every surface, behind every Web page. And the fact that we’ve provided millions of people clear, step-by-step instructions for dealing with life’s sudden turns for the worse doesn’t seem to have decelerated things. If anything, the speed at which life moves these days, thanks to modern technology, has made things even more dangerous.

  We still don’t know what’s coming our way, and it’s heading toward us even faster than ever.

  Still, here’s the good news: the keys to surviving any of life’s sudden turns for the worse are the same as always—Be Prepared. Don’t Panic. Have a Plan.

  And that’s exactly what The Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook aims to give you—tools to use and remember. (In addition to the clearest instructions available for surviving everything from jellyfish and zombies to honeymoons and brake failures.)

  Be Prepared. This means thinking through what you’ll need to do, take, and learn prior to any adventure or journey you set off on. Heading off into the mountains alone? Be sure to let your friends and family know where you’re going and when you’ll return, and to take the right equipment and supplies. Heading out for a blind date? Be sure you have an escape plan if it turns out to be a disaster. Heading out on a boat trip? Make sure you know how to make an emergency floatation device out of your pants. You’re already tilting the odds in your favor.

  Don’t Panic. This means just what it says—don’t freak out when something happens, expected or unexpected. Panicking means you’ll be breathing heavily, which means you’ll be expending unnecessary energy and not getting enough oxygen to your brain and muscles, which means you’ll almost certainly make a mistake, or lose strength or judgment right when you need it the most (as the rhino starts to charge, or as your Powerpoint falters during the biggest presentation of your career). Take three deep breaths (filling your abdomen first, then your chest, then exhaling fully), then act.

  Have a Plan. Or, if you don’t have
one in advance, formulate one. And quickly. Use your common sense, your instinct, and the information within this book to plan a course of action. And then be ready with Plan B in case Plan A doesn’t work.

  Conveniently, this book contains not only enough Plan As for your journey through life, but also Plans B, C, D, and far down into the alphabet—all from experts in the subjects at hand, as recorded by accomplished journalists and writers. The Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook presents new scenarios, illustrations, charts, and the most up-to-date survival tips, and also draws on the most useful information from the full range of the series’ handbooks, almanacs, pocket guides, and other books.

  When the time comes—when you’re faced with that act-now-and-get-it-right crisis—we want you to know what to do, and that’s why we’ve written this book. We want you to know all the marine creatures that can kill you without using their teeth, and how you can create a signal fire on a deserted desert island. We want you to be able to find and destroy bedbugs in a hotel room, to be able to bind an alligator’s jaws, and to fend off an attacker—whether the attacker is using a fist, knife, chair, or golf club. And we want you to know how to sneak in late to a meeting and many, many other useful skills.

  Because even after a dozen years, and after all the advice we’ve provided, you just never know what life will bring. And we want you to survive!

  —The Authors

  1

  Tooth and Claw

  ANIMAL

  ENCOUNTERS

  ALLIGATORS

  * * *

  * * *

  HOW TO WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR

  1 If you are on land, get on the alligator’s back and put downward pressure on its neck.

  This will force its head and jaws down.

  2 Cover the alligator’s eyes.

  This will usually make it more sedate.

  3 Go for the eyes and nose.

  If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.

  4 If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.

  Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off.

  5 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over—these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage.

  Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking.

  6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small cut or bruise, to treat infection.

  Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths.

  To get an alligator to release something it has in its mouth, tap it on the snout.

  An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive.

  —Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

  The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.

  HOW TO RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR

  1 Determine the size of the alligator.

  Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly.

  2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.

  3 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.

  4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.

  If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water.

  5 Make a loud noise.

  Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screaming may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention.

  6 Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object.

  The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its space.

  7 Quickly move away from the alligator’s territory.

  After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast—they rely on surprise when attacking their usual prey—they generally will travel only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human.

  WARNING!

  Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states but as far north as North Carolina.

  You are most likely to be attacked in or at the edge of water.

  The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour.

  Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster.

  Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wild animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation.

  HOW TO BIND AN ALLIGATOR’S JAWS

  1 Approach the alligator from behind.

  2 Straddle the creature’s back.

  Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator.

  3 Crawl your way up to the head.

  4 Cover the alligator’s eyes with a cloth.

  Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast.

  5 Push the alligator’s snout down to close its mouth.

  Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed.

  Wrap the tape six times around the snout.

  Who Has the Most Bite?

  whale 0

  red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world)

  lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical

  human being 32

  sloth bear 40

  bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors

  saltwater crocodile 68 to 70

  alligator 80 to 88

  giant armadillo up to 100

  gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102

  long-spouted spinner dolphin up to 252

  great white shark up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth)

  snail 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae)

  6 Clamp the jaws.

  Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fingers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands.

  7 Take out your binding material.

  Maintaining your grip on the gator’s snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth.

  8 Wind the tape six times around the alligator’s snout.

  WARNING!

  Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an alligator with rope, belt, thick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be tied and knotted.

  Never approach an alligator head-on when its mouth is open.

  CHARGING ANIMALS

  * * *

  * * *

  A charging rhino may avoid a noisy target.

  HOW TO ESCAPE FROM A CHARGING RHINO

  Climb a tree.

  Run for scrub.

  A rhino probably will not follow you into thick scrub brush. Get as far in as possible. Adrenaline will prevent you from noticing the painful thorns until you try to get out.

  Average Speed of Charging Animals

  ANIMAL TOP SPEED

  Asian elephant 15 mph

  hippo 20 mph

  African elephant 25 mph

  grizzly bear 35 mph

  wolf 35 mph

  rhino 35 mph

  coyote 40 mph

  horse 50
mph

  moose 50 mph

  pronghorn antelope 61 mph

  duck and goose 70 mph

  cheetah 72 mph

  peregrine falcon 200 mph and up in full swoop

  Stand your ground and shout.

  If no tree or scrub is available to allow your escape, stand and face the animal (rhinos have poor eyesight but are attracted to movement). As the rhino approaches, scream and shout as loud as you can. A charging rhino may veer away from a noisy target.

  Run in the opposite direction.

  A rhino will continue running in the same direction when it is charging and is not likely to turn around and come back for another attack. Once you have evaded the charge and the rhino has veered off, run in the opposite direction.

  WARNING!

  A surprised or startled rhino’s first instinct is to charge a threat, whether real or imagined.

  A mother rhino will aggressively defend a calf by charging any and all threats.

  Rhinos can climb steep slopes and will also charge into water or mud.

  A rhino will charge and attack a vehicle and may chase one for more than a mile. A large male (5,000 pounds or more) can easily knock over a car.

  African black rhinos are generally considered the most dangerous and likely to charge, though white and Indian rhinos will also charge. Javan and Sumatran rhinos are smaller, shier, forest dwelling, and considered less dangerous to humans.

  A white rhino’s anterior (front) horn can be as long as 62 inches.