The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Middle School Read online

  You might feel less exposed if you wear a light under-shirt beneath your school clothes. That way, when you’re changing into your gym uniform, you can stay wrapped in a protective layer.

  OPTION 4: Use the “stalling” technique.

  If all else fails, head for a bathroom stall and do your thing in your own private dressing room. If anybody asks what you were doing in there, look at them like they’re crazy: “Uh, it’s a bathroom—what do you think I was doing?”

  CHAPTER 2

  After School

  How to Scale a Mountain of Homework

  The worst part of running up a hill is when you’re at the bottom, just thinking about running up the hill. The same is true for homework, so stop the head games and just do it! Here’s how to gear up and ascend to success.

  1 Feed your brain.

  Before you get started, give yourself a “head” start on homework by snacking on “smart food” (nuts, fruit, veggies, popcorn). Healthy fuel will make your brain run better.

  2 “X” marks the homework spot.

  Seek out a super-comfortable, bright, quiet place to make your personal workstation. Decorate it to inspire you and remind you of your triumphs. If the homework spot is a place you like going to, the whole experience will improve. (You may even look forward to it!)

  3 Distractions, keep out!

  Turn off the TV. Put your phone in the cupboard behind the food you hate most. The faster you focus, the sooner you’ll get the job done.

  4 Beat the clock.

  Deadlines make adrenaline flow! If you know you need to finish a task by a certain time, your body will rise to the challenge. Set a realistic amount of time to finish, like, “I’ll finish my homework by 4 PM,” then set an alarm. Victory (a.k.a. completed homework) will soon be yours!

  5 Break fast.

  Every twenty to thirty minutes, take a break. Stand up, shake out your limbs, do whatever makes you feel human again. A short burst of movement gives your body a breather, so you can hit the remaining work like a hammer.

  Finished Homework Rewards

  Know what’s better than finishing your homework? Getting a reward for doing it! Promise to do something you love when you’re done and you’ll have extra incentive to finish fast.

  1. Ride your bike around the neighborhood knowing you’re free at last!

  2. Find the funniest clips online and laugh for as long as you want.

  3. Call your friend—and you don’t have to talk about homework!

  4. Try getting to the next level on your fave video game.

  5. If it’s sugar you crave, give yourself a little. You’ve earned it!

  How to Prep for a Test in Your Toughest Class

  No one, but no one likes tests. Know why? ’Cause they “test” you! It can feel like someone’s poking you in the head, squeezing your brain like it’s a melon at the market. Here are a few test-taking tips that’ll stop you from going bananas.

  1 Pool brainpower.

  Harness your friends’ superpower smarts by studying together. Allison is the fractions master, but Raviv is an expert at prime numbers. You need ’em both around to get an A on the killer math test.

  2 Host a game show.

  Change the mood from “ugh, test coming” to “we’re hanging out and having fun!” This will let your poor, stressed-out brain relax and absorb the material. Make a mic out of a hairbrush or spoon and take turns being the game-show host. See who can answer the fastest. If you’re stumped, just hearing the answer from your friends will help to stick it in your brain.

  3 Transform into your teacher (only temporarily, don’t worry).

  Ever wonder why your history teacher knows so much about history? It’s because teaching something is the best way to learn it. Once you get a section of the material cracked, teach it to one of your study buds, or unleash your wisdom on a family member.

  4 Create your own mnemonic devices.

  If you have to memorize a poem and present it to the class, put it to the tune of your favorite song. When it’s your day to present, sing each line in your head first, then say it out loud (unless you want to make it a truly memorable musical performance!). Even vocab words are easy to remember if you make up sentences like, “The hirsute old man looked like he was wearing a hair suit.”

  Secrets of the Multiple-Choice Masters

  The good news is that the answer is right before your eyes. All you need to do is choose it! Here’s how.

  1. Read the question twice. Read the question twice. Now you’ve probably already thought of the answer before looking at the options.

  2. Off with their heads! Immediately cross out the answers you know are wrong, then pick the best of the rest.

  3. If two choices are opposites, then one of them is probably completely, totally, and awesomely wrong, making the other…Bingo!

  4. Teachers rarely give “trick questions,” so don’t try to out-think the test-maker, or else your head might get twisted up in knots.

  5. Go with your gut. It lets you know when you’re hungry—trust that it’ll help guide you here, too!

  How to Survive a Group Assignment

  If two heads are better than one, think how much higher the “better factor” goes when you get to work in a group. Applying multiple minds means work gets divided up and done faster, and chances are you’ll wind up doing the part you like or know best. Here are some ways to keep the team working like an elite crew of taskmasters.

  1 Split skills.

  Everyone should have a job and know her part. Pick (or elect) a leader if it makes sense to do so, then draft a list of names, roles, and due dates. The more organized you can be from the start, the faster you’ll get to the end.

  2 Power to the people…

  When discussing your group-project plans, let everyone speak. Some people are going to be quieter than others, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have interesting ideas. Encourage Silent Bob to speak up by going around the circle and getting everyone’s opinion.

  3 There’s no such thing as a bad idea.

  Especially during the brainstorming phase, let every idea flow. Avoid dismissing or criticizing suggestions, because that will make people clam up. An idea that might seem strange at the start may well be a stroke of genius—or could inspire one—if you allow yourself to ponder it.

  4 Use the wisdom of crowds.

  If your group disagrees on how to attack a problem or the best way to present an answer, be democratic and encourage a vote. Debate the issues, let each side have its say, then let the group decide. Your group motto? “Everyone has a voice.”

  5 Take on slackers… positively

  Sometimes a group member will avoid doing his fair share. Instead of getting mad at the person (which will only make him want to work less… if that’s even possible!), engage him in a positive way. Talk to him about the task he was assigned, then ask if he needs any help or if he would prefer to work on another part of the project. Focus on how the group needs his contribution, not on what he’s doing wrong.

  BE AWARE • Occasionally, no matter how much you encourage a certain teammate, that person might disappoint you, forcing you to step in and pick up some of the slack. If that happens, continue to involve Kid Slacker so he not only contributes something, but he also knows he owes you one!

  The Leader of the Pack

  Even the shyest person can become a great group leader. Here’s how.

  • Come into the first meeting with a basic schedule. Make a plan, even if that might change down the line. People are likely to follow someone who seems prepared.

  • Flattery will get you everywhere. Try lines like, “You’re such a good artist—it would be so cool if our very own Picasso could do this poster for us!”

  • Be positive. Instead of, “That cover page is pathetic” try, “Great start. Why don’t we all think of ways to improve it?”

  • Don’t get carried away. No matter how good a leader you are, the group is not going to clean out
your locker, wash your gym uniform, or feed your fish.

  How to Try Out Without Freaking Out

  After-school activities are great for making friends, blowing off steam, and showing off skills (and putting off homework!). But making the team or auditioning for the play can be intimidating. Here’s how to send those nerves packing and enjoy the ride.

  MAKING THE TEAM

  • Just as you train your brain for a test, you can give your body a boost before tryouts. Start exercising and practicing now to prepare.

  • When the big day arrives, prove that you’ll make a great teammate by cheering for others, too.

  NABBING A PART IN THE SCHOOL PLAY

  • Before you arrive, look up the show online so you know as much as possible about it. If it’s a musical, find out if you’ll have to sing at the audition. Then be a rock star: Pick a song, memorize it, and practice your heart out!

  • As you audition, pretend you’ve already made it. Think of the people in the room as your enthusiastic opening-night audience.

  GETTING ON THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD

  • Cheerleading is all about attitude. A big smile can be as valuable as a back handspring.

  • Ask someone who’s on the squad to teach you a cheer or two so you can walk into the tryout one high kick ahead of the curve.

  RUNNING FOR STUDENT OFFICE

  • Campaigning is key, so arrive to school early during the week before the election and say “hey” to everyone coming into the building. Think of a memorable slogan, and use that theme in all your campaign materials. For instance, if you say, “Jimmy has the magic!” you could hand out playing cards with your name and campaign plans on them.

  • During your speech, you could do a magic trick. Keep hitting that message: You have the power to get things done!

  Worst Nightmare

  Your buds made the team and now they’re busy doing the one thing you wish you could do. There are ways to make this major bummer better.

  • Take note.

  What moves did your friends make that got them on the team? Work on those for next year’s tryouts!

  • Cheer ’em on.

  Instead of feeling left out, “join the team” in other ways. Sit in the front row of the bleachers when your pals are playing, and cheer louder than anyone else. Bonus: Being a good observer of the team’s strategies will reveal helpful tricks you can put to use.

  • Try something else.

  Maybe you’re not destined to be a star soccer player—what about being your school’s first-ever fencing champion? How ’bout starting a comedy troupe? Ask an administrator how you can start your own group, team, or club—and make your own fun!

  How to Survive a Massive Mess-Up

  You did it! You did it! You kicked the ball right into the net! Except, uh, that’s the other team’s net, and you just scored a goal for the visitors. Or maybe you tossed a total air ball on your foul shot, or shouted at full volume when all the other cheerleaders were totally silent. Your extracurricular just got extra embarrassing, but it’s nothing you can’t handle.

  1 Minimize the damage.

  If you spaced on your big line in the play, make up something “in character” to say. If your pom-pom flew into the bleachers, keep cheering with the other one.

  2 Fake it.

  No matter how much you feel like collapsing in tears, keep playing (or cheering, or acting) with a smile. Freaking out will tell the world that this is a big deal. If you stay calm, they may never know.

  3 Tease yourself first.

  You know the jokes are coming, so get there first with one of these self-directed zingers.

  • “Just trying to keep things interesting.”

  • “So did everyone see my lesson on what not to do?”

  • “Well, let’s not run that play again.”

  4 Learn from your mistakes.

  Do you need to rehearse more? Practice a particular move? If your next performance is terrific, no one will remember the time you kicked the goalie instead of the ball.

  Benched!

  You’re on the team, but Coach never plays you. Or you’re in the play, but instead of leading lady, you’re Shrub #4. Here’s how to make the best of it.

  • Be helpful: Hand out towels, pour water, or, while you’re waiting to rehearse Shrub #4’s scene, grab a brush and paint scenery. That way, you’re involved and useful.

  • Branch out: After practice, work on your handmade-jewelry line or teach yourself to juggle. Once you find other stuff you’re good at, it won’t matter if you’re not so hot on the field.

  How to Avoid Extra-Curricular Exhaustion

  You joined three teams, four clubs, pep band, and debate. When you’re debating whether to nap in social studies or math class, it’s time to drop out of something. Move the following assignment to the top of today’s list: Get Mom and Dad to give you the okay.

  1 Pick the right time to discuss the drop.

  This is not a conversation to have right after practice, when you’re worn out, grumpy, and irritated. That only hands Mom and Dad an easy response: “You had a rough day. Try again tomorrow.”

  2 Make a list of pros and cons.

  Write the list out twice, so each parent can have a copy. Note the benefits of staying involved with the activity to show your folks that you’re not only seeing negatives: You’ve thought it over and made a mature decision.

  3 Arrive armed with answers.

  Anticipate what your parents might say and prepare good responses in advance.

  Parents: “You need to give field hockey more of a chance.”

  You: “I talked to my coach about that, and she felt that three months was long enough to get a good sense of the sport.”

  Parents: “Learning an instrument is important.”

  You: “Having enough study time is even more important.”

  Do not say:

  “I’m so bad at the oboe, it just sounds like I’m farting!”

  “Maybe if you got your lazy behind off the couch and practiced with me, I’d be better.”

  “But you quit everything you start, Dad!”

  CHAPTER 3

  The Social Scene

  How to Be Truly Popular

  Dirty little secret: People who think they belong to the “popular crowd” have it backward.

  It’s not a “crowd” if it’s only a few people. Plus, true popularity means having lots of friends’ not excluding them.

  HOW TO BUILD YOUR CIRCLE

  1 Be an inquiring mind.

  Want to get to know someone new? Start with a question like, “What’d you think of that English assignment?” “Did you read that book?” “Cool (shirt/shoes/pants), where’d you get it/them?” “What’s for lunch?”

  BE AWARE • If your “way in” goes way badly, no biggie. Blow it off with a comment like, “Take your time, it was a tough question,” or “I like how you answered that with a nonanswer. Are you hoping for a career in politics?”

  2 Show your interest.

  As you get to know this new person, show interest in what he’s saying by listening well and asking follow-up questions. Delve deeper with “why” questions, like, “Why’d you decide to play trumpet?”

  3 Add water.

  As the friendship grows, suggest getting together outside of school for a movie, skateboarding session, or sleepover.

  4 Smile more, smile often.

  Flashing a smile is like starting a private conversation. Grinning not only says, “I’m a nice person, come say hi!” it also lets people know you’re not judge-y. Just think about how it’ll feel to have loads of pals, and that smile’ll spread naturally.

  5 Are you positive? Say yes!

  Remember: It’s more fun to hang out with someone who’s upbeat and positive than it is to hang out with Hater McWhineypants.

  6 Be a uniter.

  You have friends scattered in all parts of your life—from school, outside activities, summer camp, etc. So if you want to hang wit
h a larger group, do some community organizing. Invite all your peeps to a party. Bringing different groups of friends together is what a real leader does.

  7 Know your true friends.

  A group is great, but one quality amigo—a partner in crime who’s there when you need to talk serious stuff—is priceless. (Be sure to treat him that way!)

  How to Remake Your Rep

  Middle school is like the next level up in a video game: You get a clean screen, new powers, and the chance to turn yourself into the person you’ve always wanted to be. Once you figure out who that is, follow through on the plan to make a brand-new you!

  OPTION 1: Be Mr. or Miss Outgoing.

  1 Have ’em at hello.

  Movie stars become famous by getting their faces out there. You can’t turn into “someone” until people see you, so introduce yourself and show them who you are. The more people you meet, the more interesting a “character” you become.

  2 A better form of global warming.

  Break the ice. Don’t know what to say? Ask people about their favorite subject—themselves! Then you don’t have to talk—they do. Other possible topics: school stuff (“What is up with Mr. Odenkirk’s hair?”); cultural stuff (“Can you believe what [crazy celebrity] did?”)…you get the idea.

  OPTION 2: Be an A student.

  1 Keep your eyes on the prize.