Junior Edition Bundle Page 3

  Remember, the size of your photo in the yearbook will be small. So even a massive zit will only be a mini-dot in the picture. The key is in minimizing its redness. If you have cover-up, lightly dot it around the area and smooth it into your skin.

  3 Avoid patterns, stripes, or logos in favor of simple shirts in solid colors.

  Go for light or bright solids that will make you stand out against the backdrop. Too much activity around your neckline distracts from the real subject of the photo—you! And besides, this year’s coolest band could be next year’s disgrace.

  4 Use your best “I have a secret” smile.

  The look on your face is by far the most important part of a yearbook picture. If you look happy or amused, the picture will turn out great. Think about the last time you laughed really hard. Be in that moment as the photo is being snapped.

  How to Eat Lunch by Yourself . . . and Enjoy It

  No one to sit with at lunch? As long as you’re properly prepared with things to distract yourself, it’s really no big whoop. Plus, when you’ve got something cool going on, you may find people wanting to sit with you to see what it is!

  Read something fun.

  This is “you” time, so use it to read something interesting—a book, magazine, instruction manual, whatever.

  Play a game or do a puzzle.

  Sudoku, solitaire, and crossword puzzles are all one-person activities, so it’s better that there’s no one there to distract you anyway.

  Do origami.

  If you can’t make a swan, at least try folding a fan.

  Create the best music playlist ever.

  Then come up with other “best ever” lists, like “best movies ever,” “best pets ever,” “best books ever,” and so on.

  Start writing your memoirs.

  Call it what you want—diary writing, journaling, or memoir writing—it’s always cool to have a record of your thoughts and daily activities. You never know: Years from now what you’re writing might be what someone reads during his lunch period!

  Draw your own map of the world.

  Invent names for new countries, like Mybuttissosorenya and Boredoutofmyheadistan.

  Pretend you’re a private eye.

  Like Harriet the Spy, take notes on what other people in the lunchroom are doing to improve your powers of observation for future espionage jobs.

  How to Give an Oral Report without Passing Out

  People list public speaking as the scariest thing in the world—even scarier than being eaten by an alligator. But it’s not that bad. At most, it causes a few minutes of discomfort (whereas getting eaten by an alligator could, theoretically, go on for hours). These tips will make those minutes fly by.

  1 Rehearse your material.

  Being nervous only means you care about what you’re about to say, so practice your report until you’re comfortable with it. Rehearse it in front of a mirror. Rehearse it in front of your computer screen. Rehearse it in front of a friend. Rehearse when you’re in the shower, before you go to bed, and when you wake up. After all that rehearsing, doing the real thing will seem as routine as brushing your teeth.

  2 Warm up and chill.

  Focus on your breathing. Inhale for three seconds, then exhale for three seconds. If you can excuse yourself to the bathroom right before your turn to speak, do some stretching exercises to help you relax.

  3 No disclaimers.

  No disclaimers means: never apologize, and don’t announce, “This is going to be terrible!” These things just plant the idea that your presentation will be terrible (which it won’t). Likewise, don’t tell people you’re nervous, because if you’ve followed steps 1 and 2 they won’t know you’re nervous unless you tell them.

  4 Picture yourself giving a speech that’s the cat’s pajamas.

  Imagine yourself in front of the class, speaking slowly, clearly, and smartly. If you can see it, you can be it!

  5 Remember, your audience wants you to do well.

  Since no one wants to sit through a bad, boring speech, it follows that most people genuinely want you to succeed. And if you suspect that there are a few meanies who aren’t rooting for you, remember that doing well is your best revenge. So just to spite them, ace this talk!

  Harness the Power of Creative Visualization

  • Picture the whole class dressed up like bunny rabbits. What could be scary about bunnies?

  • Pretend you are an important historical figure. You are giving a speech so powerful it wins the election or ends the war. Important historical figures don’t slump or say “umm,” so thinking of them should help you deliver your speech with dignity.

  • See yourself taking a deep bow when you are finished. Imagine how deeply relieved you will feel.

  6 Focus on the subject of your speech, not the fact that you’re giving one.

  Concentrate on the topic you’re talking about. Think about all the interesting aspects of the subject that you want to get across to your listeners. This will help you think less about the fact that you’re delivering a speech.

  7 Focus on the horizon.

  Instead of looking at someone who might make a face at you, keep your eyes focused just above your audience’s heads.

  BE AWARE • Remind yourself to breathe—it makes you pause and slow down so that people can understand what you’re trying to say. And if you remember to breathe, you’ll avoid hyperventilating.

  CHAPTER 3

  Survival Skills for Your Social Life

  How to Get Beyond a Bully

  Bullies have been around since the time of the caveman. As soon as the first caveman realized (1) he was hungry and (2) he was bigger than the caveman next to him who was innocently eating a sandwich, the bully was born. Today’s bullies still resemble that primitive man. It’s time for you to teach them to evolve.

  * Don’t try to out-bully the bully.

  Being jerky back to the bully isn’t smart (even if it seems so at the time). Bullies have bad reputations because they do bad things. Don’t sink to their level.

  * Don’t show fear or anger.

  Bullies love nothing more than seeing their victims freak out. Your best reaction is to stay cool. You may be scared, but try to keep a straight face, a firm voice, and a nonshaky stance. This will show the bully you’re just no fun to hassle.

  * Say “Stop,” then walk away.

  Simple but effective: Just tell the bully to knock it off. She knows that bullying is wrong, but since most kids won’t tell her to stop, she’ll keep doing it. When you say “Stop,” it forces her to think about what she’s doing.

  * Make a joke of it if you can.

  It’s hard to make fun of someone if she’s doing a better job of making fun of herself. In fact, lots of professional comics got their starts trying to make bullies laugh. If people think you’re funny, they’ll be more interested in hearing your jokes than in hurting your feelings.

  * When passing through bully territory, try to travel with a pal.

  It’s true: There is safety in numbers. Try not to be alone around the bully. Ever.

  * Get help from someone even bigger—an adult.

  If, after ignoring the bully, he just won’t stop bothering you, let an adult know about it. A teacher, a parent, a guidance counselor—any of these people might be able to step in and make things better. Tell the person about the problem and then the two of you can figure out how to handle the situation without making it worse.

  * Get support from your fans.

  Let your true friends know what’s going on, and talk about the bully situation with them. Then keep your friends in mind whenever the bully makes you feel down or stressed out. Remember that no matter what the bully says, you still have your cheering section. And they’re the ones who really matter!

  How to Make Friends When You’re the New Kid on the Block

  When you’re new to town and know no one, life can seem like no fun. But think of this as a chance to start fresh. In a new town (or a new school
), you can be whoever you want to be, including the most popular person around.

  1 Walk with confidence.

  You may be scared out of your mind on your first day at a new school, but try to be like an actor and act fearless. Keep your head up as you walk, make eye contact with other students, and then smile at them. If you can look cool and in control, people will believe you are. You might even convince yourself.

  2 When meeting people, lead with a compliment.

  People love getting compliments. Tell someone you meet that you like his shirt or hair. Then let the conversation unfold naturally.

  3 Do the “Hello, my name is _____” routine.

  Introduce yourself to the students sitting around you in homeroom. Say hello to the person whose locker is next to yours. Give a nod of the head and a smile to anyone who looks in your direction. If she nods or smiles back, find out what her name is.

  4 Think of each day as a level in a video game.

  In any online role-playing game, you meet new people every day. You know advancing takes time, but you do so by learning the needs and wants of those around you. A new school is just like the start of a new game. Stay focused and play to win!

  Fake It Till You Make It

  Be prepared: It takes time to meet new people, and it takes even more time to meet new people that you actually click with. So until you have a group of friends you’re proud to call your own, here are some ideas to help you deal with any awkward alone times.

  • Look casual. Read a comic book, chill to your iPod, or customize your cell phone. You’ll enjoy yourself and up your chances of attracting people with similar interests.

  • Try the old “I’m late for a very important appointment” routine. If there’s no one to hang with and you’re getting bored or self-conscious, look up like you just forgot something, check your watch, and walk away quickly.

  How to Survive Farting in Public

  Call it what you will—a butt burp, a cheek flapper, a trouser trumpet, breaking wind, or cutting the cheese—sometimes you’ve just got to let one rip. Here are a few ways to keep people from thinking that you’ve got a lion roaring in your underpants.

  * Block that fart!

  Depending on where you are, grab a towel, jacket, or sweatshirt (anything made of thick, bulky fabric will do). Place it behind your behind and fart into it. The fabric will help mute the sound and absorb the smell. Now get as far away from that smelly towel as quickly as you can.

  * Cough-a-fart!

  If you feel as if you’re about to let a fanny bubble fly, start coughing very loudly. Keep coughing until after you’ve finished making that “joyful noise.”

  * Put on your best “Who, me?” look.

  Say you’ve launched a fart of the SBD (silent but deadly) variety, and it’s not immediately obvious who brought the stink. Don’t yell, “P-U! That smells!” because everyone knows that he who smelt it dealt it. Just quietly make a “wasn’t me” face to disassociate yourself from the smell.

  BE AWARE • If you’re coughing, even though you can’t hear the fart, others still might. So just to be on the safe side, if you’re sitting down, try moving the chair to make its legs scrape the floor at the same time.

  What to Say After You’ve Launched an Air Biscuit

  If, despite your best efforts, your fart goes public, try saying one of these lines to turn it into a joke.

  • “Well, there’s no point in having a tush if you can’t let it rejoice in song!”

  • “Keep calling, sir! We’ll find you!”

  • “Hey, did somebody step on a duck?”

  Fart Facts

  • The average person farts about 14 times a day—whether she realizes it or not.

  • Boys and girls fart with the same degree of frequency.

  • Because cows graze on gas-inducing grass, they release so much methane gas every day that their farts contribute to global warming.

  How to Outsmart a Prankster

  The bottom line is this: If you want to learn how to stop pranksters in their tracks, you must first learn their tricks.

  GIVING A WEDGIE

  1 Prankster casually approaches his victim.

  He can either sneak up on the victim from behind or cause a distraction. Example: He drops a pen, then asks the victim to pick it up.

  2 The prankster grabs the victim’s underpants and yanks them straight to the heavens.

  The prankster digs for the top edge of the victim’s briefs and pulls them as high as he can, just like he’s pulling up a sock.

  3 Prankster runs for the hills.

  FOILING THE WEDGER

  * Wear low riders.

  Fold the waistband of your underpants down until they ride low on your hips.

  * When the prankster has you by the waistband, yell, “Look out behind you!”

  Because the prankster already has wedgies on the brain, he might assume he’s about to get wedged himself. In his surprise, he may turn around and release you.

  GIVING A WET WILLIE

  1 Prankster licks her index fingers.

  The prankster might pretend she’s about to whistle with her fingers, sticking her index fingers in her mouth and licking them till they’re good and wet.

  2 Prankster approaches her victim, leans in, and squints at his or her nose.

  By staring at another part of the victim’s face, she’ll take the “vic” by surprise.

  3 As victim goes cross-eyed, trying to see what the prankster is looking at, prankster sticks her wet fingers into victim’s ears.

  The wet-willie giver will then twist those fingers around several times.

  4 Prankster runs for the hills.

  FOILING YOUNG WILLIAM

  * Know the usual suspects.

  Pranksters are a special breed, especially the kind that have wet willies in their repertoire. (Who wants someone else’s earwax on their fingers?) So keep a mental list of these potential prank perpetrators, and when one of them starts squinting at your nose, step away “willie” fast!

  * Pants the prankster mid-willie.

  If you do get “willied,” try to retaliate. Since the prankster’s hands will be busy in your ears, he’ll be defenseless. Take this time to yank his pants down.

  Things You Can Do to Stop Yourself from Screaming

  Prank pulling is only fun when it gets a great reaction—like a blood-curdling scream. So if you can practice not shrieking like a banshee, chances are, your days as a prank victim are running out. Here’s how to avoid giving the prankster the satisfaction.

  • Bite down on your lip.

  • Cover your mouth with both hands.

  • Close your eyes tightly and think of a walrus.

  • Turn the scream into the first notes of the national anthem.

  How to Make a Quick Fix on a Fashion Disaster

  Your pants split. Your zipper broke. You’ve got a giant gob of gum in your hair. Whatever your problem, it doesn’t have to be a disaster.

  SPLIT PANTS

  You just bent down to tie your shoe, and you heard RRRRIP! Here’s what to do to keep your undies out of view.

  * Mask it.

  If you can locate masking tape (or duct tape), tape over the split. Then, use the next technique to cover the tape (since tape isn’t much of a fashion statement!).

  * Wrap it.

  Take your coat, sweater, or an extra shirt and wrap it around your waist, knotting the sleeves in front.

  * Label it.

  If all else fails, tape a sign to your butt that says, “If you can read this note, you’re standing too close.”

  GUM IN YOUR HAIR

  You’ve just blown your biggest-ever bubble. But as it bursts, your greatest achievement turns into a gummy nightmare. Tons of gum is now stuck in your hair. But don’t reach for the scissors yet—try these ideas first.

  * Dab the gummed-up hair with cotton balls soaked in rubbing alcohol.

  Rubbing alcohol reduces the stickiness of the gum and helps i
t slide off your hair.

  * Rub in some peanut butter.

  Leave the peanut butter on the gummed-up hair for a few minutes. Now you should be able to rub the gum out. Wash your hair as soon as possible to remove the peanut butter smell!

  * Apply baby oil or olive oil.

  The gum should slide right off.

  BROKEN ZIPPER

  Sometimes the problem with a zipper is that it keeps sliding down. Other times the stupid thing just won’t go up. Both problems can be solved with a safety pin. (For this reason, it’s always a good idea to keep a safety pin or two stowed in a pocket of your book bag. If you don’t have one, though, ask a teacher if he or she has an extra one lying around.)

  * Don’t call attention to the problem!

  Instead, calmly slide a textbook (or binder or backpack) over your fly to cover the area. Then, as coolly as possible, excuse yourself to the bathroom, where you can deal with the problem in private.

  * For the sliding zipper, create a no-slip handle.

  Hook the safety pin through the square opening at the bottom of the zipper pull. Now tug the zipper as high up as it will go and pierce it through the fabric on the top side of your fly. Pinch the pin closed.

  * For the no-budge zipper, create a “butterfly” closure.

  Pierce the safety pin through the middle of the outer edge of your fly. Now pierce the pin through the fabric on the outside edge of your zipper and close the pin. Yes, you’ll have a safety pin through the middle of your fly, but this will allow you to keep your privates private till you can change pants.